His Hands

Day 1: His hands slightly brushed across my boobs
I was 12 years old, he was 29
He was my dad's friend, my dad's closest friend
I still remember how that made my body shake
Day 2: His hands this time grabbed my boobs
my little growing boobs on my flat chest
I pretended not to react, pretended nothing happened
I felt dirty, nasty. I did not understand why he was touching me there
He played with my boobs for around 5 to 6 minutes, while carrying out
a normal conversation with me
No-one was around.
Day 3: I was home alone, sleeping
Parents left for work, he was sleeping in the next room
He came to wake me up
with his hands
Even before I opened my eyes
I felt hands inside my underwear
His hands, his nasty nasty hands
feeling my vagina
fingering my vagina
12 year old me did not know what was going on
Is he raping me? Should I shout? Would he kill me?
I decided to remain quiet
He said "wake up honey, its 11 am"
It last 5 to 6 minutes
Then he left
He never touched me again
Little does he know what he did to me
with his hands
I never talked about it
never told it to anyone
My mom once told me
Muslim girls are pure, no-one is allowed to touch them
before marriage
Mom said,"Only pure girls will go to heaven"
"I am not pure" I cried myself to sleep
6 to 7 years later: Sudden awakening
My sealed lips opened
I shared my story
Sharing helped my healing
Share ladies
Shout out loud
Heal yourselves
Don't wait

-Anonymous