Overwhelming is the feeling of

despair.

Overwhelming is the feeling of

invisibility.

Today I am angry.

I know.  I know, anger doesn't solve this.  Anger doesn't make it go away.

It's better not to be angry.  But it would be better that I had no reason. For this anger.

he shadows of night come almost as overcast

tick tick tick

i wait for the silence

it comes, slowly as i force myself to sleep

there is no goddamn hare; no tortoises are here.

i am the fable, from the years before i stretch.

i teach while i am learning, my organs eat themselves

The images of his face, engulfs me.

Floods me.

Inundates me.

I want to believe that I've gotten over it.

Words in my head

the words that you said

stamped into my thoughts, unrelenting

Day 1: His hands slightly brushed across my boobs

I was 12 years old, he was 29

He was my dad's friend, my dad's closest friend

I still remember how that made my body shake

I do everything with deliberate intention now.

For those minutes he controlled my body, but it's still mine.  

I am retreating

dreaming,

unruly

undermined, the

fragile kind

Why are there men like him

Why do they think like him

Why do they act like him

I don't know why

When I am at worship

I know the songs

I know the books

I know the stories

I know the things to say

Now I stand looking in the mirror and what do I see

A woman starting to know herself

A woman starting to love herself

A woman starting to love others

Because when I look into your eyes,

I see Pakistan. My scapegoat:

When surrounded by all potential heroes,

the nation responded with silence.

In Out Inhale Exhale

It is easy to block out

When there’s noise 

Can we just talk about this?

I just want to talk about it.

If you can't even hear about my pain, can you imagine what I'm hearing inside?

There’s a monster born

It desires power

Control

It preys

Insatiable like fire