Mortificatio

First Mortificatio

I am retreating

dreaming,

unruly

undermined, the

fragile kind

brick by brick [buried within]

blahblahblah noise inside

provoking wounds

protruding scars to hide

intruding

line

by

line

to write and right and write

Am I Am I Am I

trapped inside

this my own mind

ashes ashes ashes

drowning in

burning ashes

fragile

tied down

tied [to] time

lackthereof

The night(s)

so long

ago, ages ago

he liked the hurt

khaki shorts

black shirt

Am I Am I Am I

there, alive

(watched my blood

circle ‘round the drain

bones were pulled,

cracked, cleaned, and

chained)

fabric at my feet

wall melted to my cheek

(I think on white tile too,

in the back room)

hide from

Monster’s smile

Monster’s eyes

smell gush of breath unsweet,

poison-like

biting teeth

[kiss of death moaning for me]

bruised neckarmschest,

like the rest

suffocation pressed

forced between ******

seen-unseen

box locked, buried deep

Am I Am I Am I

there, alive

[he] stinging sweat

on

[i] burning cold

…        maybe I’m still there,

on the floor where I died

in the room where he murdered me

I am retreating

-Anonymous